This week in the my coaching program we are focused on love, relationships and codependency.
One thing is clear. Codependency is dreadfully misunderstood. It is a word, which has been thrown around in such a way as to leave most of us wondering what it is, how to identify it and what to do about it if, in fact, we “have” it.
In the last Recovery 2.0 Online Conference I interviewed Nikki Myers, the founder of Yoga of 12 Step Recovery (Y12SR) about her perspectives on Codependency. It was one of my favorite talks of all-time and based on the feedback from our community, one of the most important.
Nikki’s definition is my favorite. “Codependency is the disease of the lost self.” She goes on to explain that it is something that everyone on the path of recovery from addiction will have to face sooner than later.
Codependency is more a factor in our ability to stay sober and find wholeness than most people imagine. It can knock a person off of their recovery path and some of these folks do not survive. People will say that they died of an overdose or got killed in a drunk driving accident, but the deeper truth is they died of untreated codependency. They did not ultimately learn how to live with themselves.
We are all coming from a place of disconnection from our True Nature. At some point along the way, we have lost touch with ourselves and it is painful. We begin to look outside of ourselves for a solution to this problem. Some of us have reached to drugs, alcohol, food, sex, gambling, etc.
There were moments where we felt we had found a solution, but these moments were fleeting. Some of us, like me, took this externally-focused search really far despite a large body of evidence that the effort was not producing the hoped for results.
Something finally gets us to look within – maybe through yoga or meditation, perhaps through therapy of one form or another or 12 Step work with a sponsor. Someone usually has to point us there. We come back to our heart center. The solution may still take a while to come to us, but at least now we are looking in the right place.
We frequently hear the words “Keep Coming Back” in 12 Step rooms, usually delivered to encourage each other to return to the healing salve of the meetings and community. Nikki uses the words “Keep Coming Back” as a reminder that to overcome addiction and codependency we must keep coming back to our heart center. Again and again, we return either intentionally and consciously or because a mentor guides us there.
I would like you all to take the 50 minutes to watch this Nikki Myers interview this week. It is free and accessible here:
I believe it provides key insights and may prove to be important for you on your unique and wondrous path of recovery.
With Love and Gratitude,
PS – Catch Tommy Rosen and his guest Guruprem Live tonight at 7pm PT on InTheRooms.com
Tonight’s topic: “Sympathy For The Devil”. (Yes, it’s going to be a good one.)
PPS – If you have not yet applied for the Recovery 2.0 Costa Rica journey this Thanksgiving, but feel you are ready and able to be on this trip, apply here now.